I know I've said it a thousand times already, but I have to reiterate once again: I truly want to write something new. The thing is, I can't seem to focus on the process of writing. No matter how I try, even using programs like 'Wrter's Room', it still won't help me concentrating on my writing. Wait, maybe it's not my concentration problem, maybe it's just bad storyline.
Okay, so what's a good story? Frankly my dear, I don't know shit. 'The Tourist', that's a good story. 'A Spy by Nature', that's a pretty fucking awesome story. But I can't write like that, I'm not built that way. Besides, I don't want to write another 'sort of' spy-thriller ever again in my life. It was torture. But the thing is, you know what? Every once in a while, there would be some ideas about a story suddenly popping up in my head, and 9 out of 10 times, they would be spy-thrillers or some crime film shit. I just want to write maybe a plain love story, and I can't set my mind to it. Yeah, maybe I'm not built that way either.
Let's have a look at some of those ideas, shall we? First, how about a police officer off duty, on vacation, while waiting for his flight at the airport, there was a crime? No, too cliche. Though confined space is my favorite theme... Then what about a even more confined space, like on a plane, instead of just at the airport? No, no, no! On the plane is like the fucking cliche of the cliche! What is fucking wrong with you?! Right, I'm running out of ideas. Think hard... Hmm, how about drop the airport and the plane, just stick to the really really plain and simple story. I already axed the agent on vacation storyline, so try to think of something else.
No spy-thriller, no action, fuck, that's too hard to write. Human drama? Or some fluff? Don't think so. I suck at fluffs. Basically I just can't write anything happy. I'm not a happy person. Wait, there's something I need to figure out first. Who's this story for? Which pairing? Is this a story for J2? Or Kimutakki? Or Stucky? Or somebody else? Cause that would make a whole lot of differences. That would determine the location, the main theme of the story, and the character building.
Seriously, I can't write happy stories, so I can't write J2. I also can't write Stucky, cause I consider the original work quite complete by itself, there's no need to write fanfictions anymore. Which leaves it to Kimutakki again. But there're so many limitations on that pairing, like I can't write them into anything too movie-like. The story won't hold itself.
Come on! Why is that I can't think of anything except for crime stories?! That's frustrating. I need something simple, daily life, down to earth. But not too daily life, that would be dull. Brain storm, I need brain storm...
Gas station? Okay, that one would only work for J2. There's no way gas station setting would fit Kimutakki. Japanese gas stations belong to a totally different universe, normal rules don't apply there. So, this one's definitely not for Kimutakki. So, J2 then. Hold on a second, J2 or SD? That is really the question. No, drop SD, too complicated. J2 it is. I'll be writing my first J2 story.
Setting: gas station, somewhere in Texas.
Characters: Jensen, the one guy who manned the convenience store of that gas station. Jared, a driver passing by who needed gas and some supplies.
Wait, I think the story twist would work even better with SD. Dean was the guy running the gas station and the convenience store. Sam was passing by, looking for his brother who went missing on a 'hunt'. Is it better this way?
Fuck, I don't want to write anything related to 'hunting', I don't know how to write that. So no hunting, AU setting. But if it is AU, then what's the point of writing a SD story anyway? Okay, go back to J2. Ahh, but the 'in search of my lost brother I get to know the gas station guy then it turns out that guy is my brother' twist won't work if it's a J2 setting. I hate this, I hate this so much. I need to think it over.
J2 setting: Jensen works at a gas station in rural Texas. Days are slow and boring here under the typical Texan heat. Jensen never complained, but he sure feels lonely and out of touch with people. Jensen is a shy individual for sure, he chose to work here solely because of the time he could spend reading and writing. He always wanted to be a writer, but like always, life didn't treat him right. So instead of going to college, studying literature and taking creative writing courses. He ended up in this shithole and took over the little gas station along the inter-state highway. One day, a tall stranger walked into the convenience store while Jensen was in the middle of reading "Middlesex", and things gradually become a lot more different than the life he used to know.
Right, here's the summary, done. And I still haven't a fucking clue how I'm gonna bring Jared into this picture. Obviously, that tall stranger would be Jared, but I haven't figured out how to write him. Like his occupation, and why he showed up in that gas station. College TA? Journalist? Photographer? Photographer seems a pretty solid idea. I like writing photographers, I've written one, no, two before. I could handle that. How about columnist? A column in a travel magazine, dedicated to discover the rural beauty of the States. Jared was traveling around the country, taking pictures, writing about the people and life in small towns. When he was dong the Texas issue, he pulled over at the gas station along the highway and walked into the store, and into the most gorgeous pair of green eyes he'd ever seen in his whole life.
Great, nailed it. It seems to work. Then again, I'm afraid this will just turn into another 'summary fic' instead of a real finished work. God knows I have tons of them rotting on my hard drive...
So, a little self reminder: Try to write this one in to a story, please. Just try. You haven't finished writing anything in the past 4 years you know. It's about damn time you sit down and write something.